I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
