the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
