Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
did i just pee glitter
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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