ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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