just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
