if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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