I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
