either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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