so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I believe in your delicious
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
