Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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