If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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