If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
