He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
