Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
