just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
