I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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