this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
