Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
