i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Quick, to the slutcave!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
