I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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