I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
