That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
