You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
try to milk me bitch
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