hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
