I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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