i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
