fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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