he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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