Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
