Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize