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There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
