if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
