I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also, beer. Big fan.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
