If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
