so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
