As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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