shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
