I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
