How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize