the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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