they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
