Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
