Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
40s are totally the cure
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
