why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
