Please, let me fuck your mom
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
