Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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