how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize