Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
