No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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