I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize