i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
