sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
