how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize