Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize