I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
