Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
