she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
