I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
