we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
