I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
