omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my being single is dangerous.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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