So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
