Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize