Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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